Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
