I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
