I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
