What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
