I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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