Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
