Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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