Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
