Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
