You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
