Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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