first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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