She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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