I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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