My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
