Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
