I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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