break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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