So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
