Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize