Michael Bay diarrhea
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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