If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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