She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
