She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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