Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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