I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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