No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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