would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
