piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
