at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
