Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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