Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
