I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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