i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
