real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
