I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
