Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
