i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
