I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Randomize
