after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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