he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
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