what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
you never un-have a 4some
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
