You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
