you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
