I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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