he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize