Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
