I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
