You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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