dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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