just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
