Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
