I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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