OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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