I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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