after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
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