what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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