toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
