He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
We are all done wearing pants today
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
