Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
