Dual....:-)
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
