There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
