i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
