Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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