Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize